I’ve been thinking about some people I’ve missed in the last couple of months —friends I haven’t seen or talked with, friends I’ve forgotten and who have forgotten me. No drama there, just the usual “everyone’s busy to even say hi.” I guess because I’m mostly at home, the absence of everyday activity magnifies my need for some form of communication with friends, and this need is more poignant. I mean, if you’re at work there’s hardly time to think about friends. You’re preoccupied with your tasks and that’s okay. But with my current setup where I don’t really work at an office, don’t get up at so and so time, don’t have a fixed schedule, I get to think more about a lot of people I’ve missed and I wonder what’s keeping them busy.

Don’t get me wrong; I’m used to being alone. Back in college, I lived for almost 3 years by myself in this same house. Friends wondered how I managed just by myself. Well, I’m doing now what I did before to get me through the quiet days and nights: I write. I cook. I read. And I keep myself really preoccupied.

But I guess I’m trying to put some balance in my life now. I used to fill my days with activities because that was my way of fighting boredom and the occasional loneliness. Somehow, this week, I’ve managed to consciously empty myself of any activity apart from what I just need to do for work. When I’ve done my errands, I’d just stay at home and cook, write or read. Which eventually gets me thinking a lot about friends.

But maybe the reason I think more about friends now is because in a month or two, I’ll be leaving Manila for good. My best friend Kay said visiting me in Palawan will not be so hard given that she works for PAL. I look forward to that, but that’s her advantage. My other friends do not have that same option and may not always afford to come fly and see me, and this is where Facebook and other social media fail at relationships. Online presence is simply not enough. You need the kind that you can see, touch, smell and feel.

I’m trying to spend as much time as I can with friends but I wonder if a lot of them actually do realize that I am leaving soon. I think a lot of people have taken my free times for granted. Or have altogether forgotten that I’m spending the last few months here in Manila. I’ve spent the last month with my climbing buddies and my church mates, but I haven’t really spent quality time with a lot of my close friends. I just want to make the most of my time here. Maybe that’s why I enjoy cooking so much for friends at home, because I have the fondest memories of dinner parties with them. And when I’m gone, I won’t get to enjoy simple fellowships like these anymore. The fact is, I won’t be thousands of miles away, but I will be away nonetheless. And I will really miss a lot of people. So there, I think it’s time to reach out.