I could never stress enough how I think everything in this world ought to be intentional. Deliberate. On purpose. Don’t misread me; I mean to say, intentional in relationships, in building and maintaining and working on them. Ever since I was in college, I’ve always been advocating that among my discipleship chains and my friends especially during witnessing blitz. There’s a saying in CCC that we go by, which I absolutely subscribe to. “People will never care about how much you know unless they know how much you care.” Makes sense. And the only way to do that is to be intentional. I encourage being intentional because I know firsthand how it feels when people are hardly sincere or there. It doesn’t feel good. You can help someone out without putting your heart into it, and believe me, it will always show. It’s when people put on that ‘business-as-usual’ attitude that I really, really get turned off. Okay, let’s get this over and done with. What is it with people and with the world in general? Why do we act like everything is something we just have to do, not something we want to do?
Around my friends, I’ve always been known as the organizer, meaning, I do all the organizing of reunions and get-togethers and parties. I never actually considered it a burden on my part as I’ve always felt it was something that comes naturally to me. I love reaching out to people, communicating, and keeping in touch. If I have to send a very long text message if only to catch up with a long-lost friend, I’d do that. I’d call, I’d email, I’d reach out in any possible way. And I’m not doing it for anything other than I feel that’s the only way to go with relationships: you have to be intentional to build them and keep them because otherwise, it would fall apart. Think of a friend you’ve lost touch with. Who made the first move to reach out and say, “hey, haven’t heard from you for a while, how’ve you been?” Sometimes, it even just takes one very simple, “Uy, kamusta ka na?” and before you know it, you’re back to updating each other and then planning a coffee date out or something like that.
It always starts by being intentional on our part and taking the initiative. And it could be tiring. I should know. If reaching out to people is what gets me a natural high, it’s getting no response that puts me down. I admit. I get a little frustrated when people don’t make the effort to respond or text back because I feel that friends at least ought to have the decency or even the courtesy to respond. And I will not sugarcoat it and deny that I’m not expecting something in return, because I am. What relationship is one-sided, anyway? Can it be called friendship if only one person is fully invested and the other is not? Relationships are give and take, and people are not eternal sources of patience and everything in between. Much like cars needing fuel, people will not run forever and will need to refuel from time to time.
So going back to people not responding, can I just say that I really think we can be so inconsiderate sometimes. What is one peso and 5 seconds to text “YES” or “kamusta ka na?” I’m at that stage where I’m no longer accustomed to accepting “sige nalang” or “bahala na” because all that says is, “you’re not important enough for me to text back.” Really. In this day and age, without communication, nothing works. When you don’t communicate with your superior and suddenly you’re not on the same page, don’t complain if you’ve committed errors because that was a lack on your part. If you don’t communicate with your parents about certain rules you want to bargain with, sometimes you end up being portrayed as the rebellious, disrespectful daughter. If you don’t communicate with your friends over when the party should be, where, what time and what to bring, you might end up going to a party that was cancelled after all. Communication is such a vital aspect in any relationship. Without it, friends lose touch. People grow apart. That’s why we need an intentional act on our part to communicate.
If everyone were to be a little (or a lot) more intentional, I think our relationships would have less to work on, and more to enjoy in.