personal · thoughts · Uncategorized · Walk with God

What the surface will never tell you

Because it’s not just about a laptop lost some 6 years ago, or the fact that currently everyone you know is in a relationship. It’s not just that you’ve been absent all our lives, or that you are married to your work. It’s not even about the pressure put on me because I am 25, beautiful they say, smart, yet single. On the surface, it feels like nothing can be too hard to handle. On the surface, it looks like it can be dealt with by going up the mountains and discovering that life is so much bigger than you will ever be. On the surface, it’s only just the argument on car brakes and why your driving makes us nauseous. Beneath all these is a thousand little deaths that have piled up enough to make a graveyard of emotions. What I have learned two days ago is that no matter how you’ve grown up, you find that the things that used to hurt still will never be trivial to you years later. And unless it is dealt with and closed for good, everything, everything will always just appear good on the surface, but dying inside.

So I need this.


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