Christianity · everyday life · faith · God · life · Life Lessons · personal · religion · thoughts

He that knows me full well

It won’t be new to say that I’m sick and experiencing many, many things in my body. A few days ago, my hands and feet started to itch like crazy. Now we all know what happens when there’s an itch. We scratch it for relief, but it never really does that and in fact, makes it 10,000 times much worse. A few days ago, I started seeing small dots that turned to rashes, and then minute blisters. You won’t even see them far afar until up close, and when you thoroughly run your fingers through the palm of your hands and the sole of your feet. Ah, allergies. Almost the same ones my sister had. Hers was worse; much worse. Took her 6 months to figure out how to deal with the allergies she had. I was fortunate to already know what this is because of her. I feel that I’ve taken after my sister. She eventually turned to TCM or traditional Chinese Medicine to cure her allergies, which cannot already be cured by medicines alone that were prescribed by the doctor. But like I said, hers was much worse. She had to drink this herbal med that tasted much like dirt, literally, and then soak both her arms and feet for an hour in some herbal/grassy stuff I don’t even know of. I’ve seen her religiously follow this regimen when she was here and so I know how hard it was to deal with this allergy. 

And now, i’m seeing it for myself. 

I prayed to God a couple of days ago and just committed to him this condition. By now, I’m just resigned. Resigned to trust His sovereignty and the fact that He knows every little thing that happens to me. He knows when I rise, when I sleep, what’s in my head, who I’m thinking of, what my desires are. He knows me full well. He’s the God who cares for every little detail of our lives. Not that it’s all he’s concerned with. But that’s who God is. He knows His children and He looks after them and knows what they need. So with that truth, I laid it out to God. Because to be honest, I’m tired. I’m tired of yet again having to go through some unexplained condition and if truth be told, I feel I already have my hands full as it is. I just cried and told him, “Lord, you know my desires. You know that I desire to be rid of this allergy. Yet, if there be anything I must learn from this, and if there be anything I must develop in this circumstance, and if this shall bring you glory, ultimately, then let me at least endure. Give me grace to just resign everything to you since You know full well what I’m going through.”

And then I opened my bible to Luke 8:48, about the woman who touched Jesus’ robes in a desperate move. She had been bleeding for 12 years and when the chance to see Jesus came, fearing she might be dismissed, she silently touched Jesus’ robes. She knew deep in her heart that act alone would be enough for her. The hem of Jesus’ cloth is enough. And yet, she got more than she asked for. Jesus immediately knew somebody touched her, and for her bold faith (ironic), Jesus said, “Daughter, be of good cheer. Thy faith has made thee whole (has healed thee); go in peace.” 

My heart leapt for joy. Not that I was expecting instantly to be healed, or that I’ll wake up and voila, allergies are gone! But I related with her in that I’m desperate enough to just cling on to a few verses of truth because that’s all I need right now. I don’t need some great sounding words or encouragement from people about healing. Jesus desires to heal. His ministry when He was on Earth has been one of healing the physical and spiritual needs of people. God knows full well what my needs are. They may be small, and yet doesn’t the Bible tell us to cast all our anxieties on Him, because He cares for us? (1 Peter 5:7). The Bible also tells us that “in everything, pray.” (Philippians 4:6)

So I did that. And I’m doing it still. Because from my allergy-ridden hands and feet, and my heart that desperately wants to be healed, prayer is my best and only option.

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