We’re people prone to worry, especially when it is about the future. Because we have no control over what will happen or how things will turn out from our present circumstances, the natural tendency is to give in to worry, to think about what now, or what next. If you’re like my eldest sister, she doesn’t get stuck in the what now part. She’s always two steps ahead, thinking of solutions for what’s next, and then coming up with another back up plan. That’s always a good strategy, except that we still don’t know how the future will turn out despite the best of plans. Me? I don’t really “plan” rigidly for what’s next should something drastic threaten my future. I said not “rigidly” because I still would come up with some plan, but everything else will depend on God. That’s my stand. If this thing should happen to me, then God would be the one to direct me through this. And I would still do my part, given what I have.
I type this with an elastic splint wrist brace on my right hand. Some five days ago, I started feeling a swelling on the left side of my wrist (right hand). I didn’t think anything of it until three days ago when I noticed that the pain hasn’t disappeared and in fact, seemed to worsen. I couldn’t carry objects without feeling pain, even the light ones like a glass pitcher or a tabo of water. When I drive, my wrist hurts. When I reach for my back, it also stings. My right hand feels heavy at times, and then numb. There’s like a bruise inside that I can’t pinpoint. The slightest of movements hurt and, like any normal, self-medicating, go-to-Google-person, I started doing my own research on the possible causes. Could it be my uric acid? (I’m still on the normal, albeit elevated scale). Could it be Carpal tunnel syndrome? Too much typing? Too much texting? Wrong sleeping position?
I decided to get myself a wrist brace for the meantime to prevent movement that may aggravate it. But even after doing that, I still felt the pain, just like today. My right wrist was hurting worse than yesterday. I needed to see a doctor immediately which would give me two things I need at the moment: an answer to what now (as in what I have now) and an answer to what next. After a whole day event outside town, I went to the hospital to finally have it checked. That should give me some peace of mind because currently, I’m stuck with these thoughts:
This is my working hand. This is my writing hand. I’m right-handed. Anything I can do, I can do well with my right hand. Book! I haven’t finished writing my book and now I might have hand issues? What would they find in the x-ray? Mini tumor? A nerve impingement? Sprain without my knowledge?
All within five minutes of my consultation with the orthopedic doctor, which involved some impassioned explanations of my pain, the doctor gives me a diagnosis I wasn’t expecting to get. As he gently examined my wrist, he concludes that “there’s nothing to worry about.” I blinked at him. Carpal tunnel ruled out, although I already knew that because from my research the symptoms didn’t match. No need for X-ray as well as the doctor said “I’ll only be spending on something that would come out normal.” Normal? “It’s just muscle spasms. Your **something** nerve (sorry, didn’t catch that –pointing to the leftside of my wrist) was probably impinged. It could also be that my wrist is overworked or that my regular hand activity has overworked the wrist causing the muscles around it to swell. It was as simple as that and all I was advised to take was for pain medication and muscle relaxant.
Worries. Like I said, we’re people prone to worry, especially when it is about the future. Doing this does not mean we lack faith. It does not make us any less faithful for taking precaution or even being practical. It’s good to do what we can –go to the right people such as doctors for medical issues that we know nothing of, take precaution. But we are also instructed not to worry. At the end of the day, good or bad, our lives are in the hands of our good Lord. If something serious came out of this incident, it would still be his hands. We’d plan, move on to “what’s next”, but what is really next? Thoughts and faith points learned today:
- Not what’s next, but what’s now. What we have is today, so we ought to make the most of it. Do you have something God is asking you to do or finish but you haven’t done yet? Let’s not delay what God is asking us to do today.
- Pray. Whether the turn out will be good or bad, pray. Submit to the Lord. This will give you, more than what the doctor can advice, a peace of mind.
- Be thankful. For what you have presently, for people who can help you. I’m thankful to doctors because God gives them wisdom (and enough patience) to deal with our impassioned, sometimes exaggerated views on pain.
“So teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom.” Psalm 90:12
“LORD, make me to know mine end, and the measure of my days, what it is; that I may know how frail I am.” Job 39:4 (KJV)
“Show me, LORD, my life’s end and the number of my days; let me know how fleeting my life is. (NIV)
“A person’s days are determined; you have decreed the number of his months and have set limits he cannot exceed. So look away from him and let him alone, till he has put in his time like a hired laborer.” Job 14:5-6