My friend Meryll tagged me on a post in Facebook that linked to an online test that can analyze your personality based on your blogs and the posts you’ve written. Curious, I went to the site, had three blog posts analyzed, and all yielded the same result about my personality. They were very accurate, to the point that it kind of freaked me out. I guess, just from how I view it, our words really do show our personality. Basically, mine was summed up in these points: That I was assertive, that I tend to speak up and take charge of the situation, that my choices were driven for efficiency, and that I was social, an extrovert, and fierce. On the emotional ranges, the analysis said I was practically independent. Needs? 95% love. Lol. that cracked me up.
Speaking of personalities, how tonight ended more or less verified the findings from the online test, which is again freaky considering that the events happened before I went online. I got into a tense situation with a friend (a kuya) who, like me, has a strong personality. As in the past, when the others cannot speak up and something had to be addressed, I tend to speak my mind. I usually take the initiative. What was really upsetting was that in the end, it wasn’t anymore about what was right or wrong. It boiled down to a clash of personalities. Too often, when one or both refuse to give way, things do not end well.
An even more upsetting fact was that we were just trying to settle / address a minor issue. It had to do with powerpoints and who were assigned to do it and how often. It was that simple. We human beings are really unbelievable at times. We fight over the simplest, most ridiculous things. But it happens, even in church setting. People have different personalities and different backgrounds and different upbringings. While unity is the goal, it is often tricky to attain with such a diversity of personalities and characters. There is a reason humility rules and the proud do not go far.
Anyway. I just want to rant. It upset me and I cried over it tonight because it may seem like such a trivial thing, but it wasn’t. When he challenged the “assignment” and said he didn’t commit to doing powerpoints, it wasn’t like we were dictating that he do it forever. It wasn’t even that we were leaving him with no choice. It was that we were asking for a favor, and perhaps it was the tone, or how I said it that might have given him the impression that I was forcing it. It wasn’t that at all. You know what really upset me? It was that we start “counting” the things we do for God, as if God even owes us a favor for doing these tasks, and how we won’t even go the extra effort because we didn’t make that commitment. Yes, that is valid. In fact, I would rather that people not do any work if their heart isn’t into it, than work halfheartedly and have no joy whatsoever. I would rather have people “volunteer cheerfully” than do the work because they’re obligated to. If doing powerpoints is such a “stretch” and it’s asking too much especially because it wasn’t “listed down” in the roles and responsibilities of the tech team (when did tech team ever just meant cables, literally?), then I concede. It must be embarrassing for God to be asking us to do something so menial as Powerpoints when elsewhere in the world, people need to be reached for the gospel. No, powerpoints are a big sacrifice to us and we did not commit to make powerpoints but to make disciples.
Then I concede.
This is why it upset me. Because the way the “argument” went, it wasn’t anymore any of the important issues. It was that the personality simply did not allow. It refused to be humble, to be sacrificial and considerate, to be giving and to be kind. It simply wanted to put itself first, to be proud, to say, “my needs and wants go first.”
The little things matter. The fish and the bread, little they were, mattered in the miraculous feeding of 5,000. A mustard seed-sized of faith matters, can move mountains. Small, apparently menial things like washing dishes, cleaning after meals, setting tables or even preparing powerpoints, MATTER. They may not make disciples. But they sure make the character of one.