Friends and medicines

The last time I was hit by such a bad case of flu was December two years ago (or was it last year? I forget). I couldn’t work and was pretty much in bed the whole day.

I’ve been in bed for two days now, literally just sleeping the whole day. It’s been four days since I had my sore throat –something I first attributed to my sweets intake this week. So it was raining about four-five days ago, and you know, on rainy days, you make champorado. I did. And that was the only sweets I had. Oh wait, I did have chocolate biscuits for dinner because I was too lazy to cook anything.

The sore throat went from bad to worse. Two days ago, I lost my voice, and then I started coughing real bad, sneezing, having runny nose, and then fever. The seminar in church which went from 7-9ish pm for two days probably also aggravated my condition. I drank ginger tea to help my throat, and also boosted on vitamin c. I thought I was getting better but the next day (Thursday), I completely lost my voice and my throat was more sore than ever. Today’s Friday and my condition has both improved and worsened. Sore throat’s gone (thank God for apple cider vinegar + honey + warm water and antiobiotics), but fever has gone up, along with a bad, bad case of migraine. The migraine was much worse today –you know that feeling when you just want to yank out all your hair from pain and sleep it off? Despite taking antibiotics, I was more feverish today than yesterday. Well, we must remember that medicines are not magic pills that upon taking, will instantly relieve you of pain. You have to give it time to take effect in your body.

Basically, these past couple of days has just been draining. I couldn’t get up from bed even if I wanted to. You know what’s worse when you’re sick and you live alone? You still have to take care of yourself –despite already not feeling well. This is the reality of living alone. When you’re sick, you force yourself to drive to the hospital, you try to cook for yourself even when you have no appetite and if that doesn’t work, you try food delivery but they figure your place is too far, so you end up driving yourself anyway, at 38.9 deg, with migraine, colds, and a very, very bad sore throat. I remember the night before I had my surgery three years ago. Nurses were asking why I was alone and I assured them friends would show up after surgery because it was our birthday. They seemed baffled that I didn’t even have someone with me at the hospital. It wasn’t a big deal to me then but their worries made me question whether it was normal that I was even that unaffected. Eventually, my galaxy defenders would show up –Ate Malu and Mamu Salve who are close colleagues of mine and big sisters at work. They stayed with me the whole night until the next morning when I was to undergo operation. Their presence were my sedatives because I didn’t know I was really scared inside until moments before I was wheeled into the operating room. 

I think when you live alone and you get into situations like this, you would naturally feel sorry for yourself, even get into moments of self-pity, because no one is even there to recognize your plight. You question whether people care for you or would even step up and do something. When I hear people say they will pray for me, I sincerely appreciate it but I also secretly wish it were backed with action. That’s biblical, by the way. You don’t tell a hungry person, go in peace and be fed, and not do anything about it when you can do something about it.

So I let these sentiments out to God last night. I was feeling down, literally because my body was just not in the best shape, but also emotionally, because I was feeling the toll of being sick and alone. Would it have been easy to just tell friends what you needed? Perhaps. Sometimes, you wish people would just be sensitive. Women usually are and men are usually clueless on these things.

God probably heard me because when I was forcing myself to drive to the mall last night, Mitch calls and tells me she can drive me and also assist in buying medicines and fruits and grocery. I didn’t pass up on the offer –it was mine for the taking. Today, Achi Cris surprised me with breakfast she dropped off at home. Achi Lewie offered her driver to drive me to the hospital to get my blood test, and then brought me dinner as well. Ate Sharon was a text away for any prescriptions I needed, a personal on-call doctor churchmate. And a few minutes before, just as I was preparing to sleep, Chinee and Mark stopped by tonight to drop off fruits and ask how I was doing.

As of writing, I still feel feverish, but my soul has lifted. A big weight was lifted off of me when friends came and helped. I think sometimes, that’s all that’s needed. Medicines will do their share in your healing, but so will friends and the encouragement they give you. I’m just reminded to pay this forward when I get better. Faith must always show itself in action, or it is dead.

Thank you, God, for knowing how to heal me externally, internally. :)


3 thoughts on “Friends and medicines

  1. Hi KZ!

    Your blogs are such an inspiration! I visit every now and then to see if you have new entries. I see that you really stand on what you believe in. I just wanna ask, if it’s not so weird…How do you deal with loneliness? Lately I’ve just been going through pits of emotion. I have conquered this before but it’s been coming back. The feeling of not being able to fit in always looms in my subconscious. I know God will never leave us nor forsake us but how do you muster your emotions when there is no else but God on your side? I dunno if I’m making any sense but I wanna know your thoughts on this. :)

  2. Thanks for reading! :)

    There was a quote about loneliness that Elisabeth Eliot wrote in her book Passion and purity that stuck with me. she said, “offer your loneliness to God.” What that meant to me was, whenever I feel lonely or sad, I just tell him what I feel as they are –no sugarcoating. When I feel burdened or distressed, or sometimes really just lonely from lack of company, I go to God in prayer and tell him why I feel that way. I know that it may seem like a vague advice, to just go to God in prayer, but in honesty, it really does feel like somehow my burdens are lifted. Because then I can be honest before God and tell him my thoughts without fearing judgement from him. He knows me more than I know myself. He knows why I act the way I act, or feel the way I do. The freedom to say what is in your heart is something I think you can only do to a person or to someone who you trust with your whole life. So when I’m lonely and I tell God about it, it liberates me.

    Also, I tend to cry out my loneliness and then after some moments, I’m good. Medyo hindi naman siya “lingering” for me. When I feel lonely, a good cry sometimes seems to be the “good” outlet for me.

    I hope that helps. I also write down thoughts. Or, I go out and have dinner with a friend or two. Good company shakes us off the self-pity mode we often place ourselves in.

  3. So grateful for your reply! :D

    This is not a vague advice at all. Thanks for sharing. I tend to reel over negative thoughts of loneliness than actually give it to God. I should start to “offer [my] loneliness to God.”

    And I feel relieved that you cry it out too, I thought I was going mad. Then writing and going out with friends! You’re right. This has been very helpful. :) Thanks.

    Keep blogging. God bless.

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